A person may describe themselves as “queer” if they have sexual or gender identities that do not follow the traditionally-understood “heterosexual” or “cisgender” models. However, “queer” has been reclaimed and is no longer considered derogatory.
Find affectionate nicknames that have positive connotations. Many people experience trauma related to race or sexual orientation – bullying, shame, rejection, and abuse. To be safe, it’s best to never use a derogatory term to refer to a friend, even jokingly.